


The realisation

by Kpop_personalities



Series: Trans!Kageyama x Soulmate!AU [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Soulmates, Trans Character, Trans Kageyama Tobio, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29356572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kpop_personalities/pseuds/Kpop_personalities
Summary: After Kitagawa's final match in Kageyama's third year, he was already feeling down. He didn't need to be slapped with the realisation his soulmate would never love him.aka he has a panic attack, his soulmate helps him, he runs into a foe turned confidant
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Trans!Kageyama x Soulmate!AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027695
Kudos: 112





	The realisation

**Author's Note:**

> This happens before the work I posted on this series, so I think it could be better to read this one then the other one.
> 
> trigger warning!!!¨
> 
> Tobio thinks of some kinda transphobic things against himself while experiencing a panic attack. the panic attack in itself isn't graphic I think, but just in case it is the main thing so if you can't read it then please don't proceed.

Stepping out of that court, knowing he wasn’t wanted there, was the worst feeling Tobio had ever felt. He walked to the bench and sat down with a towel over his head, breathing laboured. He could feel the coach sigh besides him, and he knew the man was just a piece of shit of a coach. He never liked Tobio, not since the start. When Tobio and his parents were in a reunion right after the start of the school to explain his gender identity, the coach had been one of the ones vocal about not letting him on the team. They fought a lot until the board made the decision he could play as long as he never changed clothes in the same place.

Then that asshole turned a blind eye to the treatment Tobio was getting from Oikawa, as though it was normal for a senpai to treat his underclassman like trash. He also turned a blind eye to what was going on in the team, not bothering to help the situation whatsoever, and when asked, he’s sure he would have said something along the lines of having tried to intervene but Tobio just got meaner or something.

Now, sitting beside him made him want to puke. He could feel his parents’ stares on his back, probably thinking the same as him. Tobio had been vocal about what was happening during practices, but whenever he said that he was rude and that the others weren’t putting the effort either, his parents had said that since no adult had intervened it meant there wasn’t any major problem.

And there was one, it just sucked that the coach was a transphobic piece of shit.

After bowing down towards their opponents, and getting the right to leave the court, Tobio walked towards his parents who seemed to want to step on the court. He shook his head and was able to get them away. That’s when he saw him. Oikawa was there, talking to a few of the third years, probably to tell them they would still get a recommendation despite losing. He could see the other looking at him from the corner of his eye, and knew he had to step away from his parents so the other could talk to him and get it over with. He told his parents he was going to the bathroom and was probably going to speak with his team before they could leave, so he asked them to wait outside for him. They nodded and left but not before glaring at his coach.

Tobio sighed and started walking towards the bathroom further away from everyone else. He could hear Oikawa telling the others he would come back, that he needed to go to the bathroom before he took them out to eat. He walks a bit faster, because even though he knows Oikawa wants to talk to him, it doesn’t mean he can’t try and put a door between them so he wouldn’t have to literally face the older. He sees the bathrooms coming into view but right before he thinks he’s in the clear a hand suddenly grabs his shoulders and slams him into a wall. He hisses and glares at Oikawa, who’s glaring right back.

Before he can scream at the other to let him go, he looks down and sees that Oikawa isn’t wearing his band to his soulmate’s name.

He didn’t want to accept what he saw, and thought it was just a fluke.

He looked a bit closer, and he saw it with so much clarity, he knew.

富愛

Tomie.

He thought back to the name written underneath his band and he could feel all the emotions he had inside his body suddenly making him crumple to the floor. Oikawa squawks and helps the younger not fall too hard on the floor. Tobio ends up sitting with Oikawa’s hands around his arms, while he’s still looking down on the floor.

Tobio was slowly losing himself in his thoughts.

_Oikawa-san had had around three girlfriends when he was in middle school with him. There was even a day where he came to school and all the third years congratulated him for losing his virginity to one of them. He never really spoke up when someone made a homophobic comment, and I’m pretty sure he’s even made a homophobic comment once or twice. He even punched someone in the face when someone said he was gay and in love with Iwaizumi-san._

_That’s who my soulmate is._

_Oikawa Tooru._

_He’s never going to want me._

Tobio?

_I’m a man. I’m a man on the inside and even though certain parts of my body aren’t that of a man’s it does not mean I’m not a man._

_He’s never going to want me._

Tobio, hey-

_He might like me for my body though._

_But I know how I feel._

-you need to breathe-

_The moment I knew his name, instead of fearing him being my soulmate, I took it in stride and never cared._

_I looked up to him to the point of falling in love anyways._

_Now he has that fucking horrible name on his wrist, and I’m probably supposed to tell him-_

_What if I didn’t?_

You’re freaking me out Tobio-

_Oikawa-san has never had a problem in finding himself a girlfriend._

_He could just, get another. He wouldn’t have to be stuck with a_ Tobio? _man making him gay, or having a problem with walking around with the person_ Tobio, I need you to breathe for me- _he probably hated the most, after all he never liked me, and if he realises who I am, and what I am, he’s going to hate me until I-_

“Tobio! Look at me god damnit!”

Tobio suddenly intakes a breath and Oikawa seems to take it as a sign to grab Tobio harder, making the younger finally loop up at him.

“Tobio follow my breathing, ok? I need you to breathe with me. You’re having a panic attack, so I need you to breathe again. Yes, that’s it in, hold it, and out. Again yeah? In, hold, out. Keep on looking at me, ok?”

After around 10 minutes of Oikawa holding Tobio’s right hand over his own heart, Tobio is fully able to breathe without help again. He takes a final deep breath without any shortness of breath, and he can see Oikawa releasing a relieved sigh.

That’s when he remembers what set him off.

He stands up abruptly, and Oikawa startles, but doesn’t have the time to grab Tobio before he looks down at him with a look of horror, turns, and runs away.

Tobio bumps into the little captain from the first match he had played in the tournament. The smaller takes one look at him and promptly grabs his hand to lead him away from everyone else. He finds a door leading outside, towards a stairwell, and sits Tobio down while he sits in front of him, still holding his hand. He didn’t say anything, just sat there while waiting for Tobio to get better.

Tobio was grateful, he didn’t know the other’s name, had even mocked him a bit, crushed his team, and yet he was the one helping. He took more breaths in and out and decided to thank the other and leave before he did something stupid, or before Oikawa finds him to question him or better yet, scream at him for what he just did in that stupid match.

“Thank you for helping me. I can buy you something or whatever, but I need to go now before… yeah I just need to go- “

“You can thank me by first telling me your name. My name is Hinata Shouyou!”

“Um, my name is Kageyama Tobio- “

“Kageyama-kun, want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Tobio looked at the other wide-eyed. It had been a while since someone looked at him with such caring eyes. Oikawa had been scared earlier, Kindaichi and Kunimi hadn’t cared about him for more than a year now, and last time he checked, parents didn’t count. Not only that but being called Kageyama-kun was also a rarity.

_Can I really trust a stranger? He did seem nice during our match with his teammates, but this is serious._

_But at the same time, I don’t think I could ever talk about it with my parents, and it’s not like I have any friends…_

Tobio took a deep breath, looked at the other and nodded. Hinata nodded back, and sat down beside him, still holding onto his hand. Tobio took note of it, then took his jacket and brought the hood up in case Oikawa went looking here. Hinata noticed and took off his own jacket to swap them. Tobio nodded gratefully.

“I found out one of my old senpais is my soulmate.”

“Why are you so frightened though? Is he an asshole?! I don’t know you at all but I’ll beat him up-“

Tobio laughed a bit, imagining the small boy trying to fight Oikawa. He would be trying not to be scared, but he could see the other already trembling just like he was doing the day before in front of the bathroom. Oikawa would probably call Iwaizumi, and Hinata would definitely get a heart attack and run away. Hinata looked sheepish, probably realising he wouldn’t be able to fight an upperclassman.

“He doesn’t know, and I hope he never finds out. I’m not exactly his, well, type.”

“Is it cause you think he’s straight? He could be bisexual. I don’t know if you know, but it means he likes both men and women.”

Tobio looked up at the sky turning dark and contemplated telling the whole truth. He figured he would never see Hinata again unless at a competition and seeing how nice it was to actually talk about his problems to a stranger, he thought it wouldn’t be too bad.

“That’s not really the problem. The problem is that I’m a man now, but when I was born, I wasn’t. The name on my soulmate’s wrist is my dead name, Tomie. He’s expecting a woman, and I don’t want to do that to him. It’s not just that though, his family is expecting a woman. Then there’s the fact his friends are expecting a woman. And since he’s probably the best setter I’ve ever met, he’s going to go play internationally, and the world is going to expect a woman. I can’t do anything about it, except to hope he finds love.”

Hinata had gasped upon the realisation of Tobio being transgender, but now he just looked dejected. He looks at Tobio and opens his arms. Tobio understands, and immediately hugs the other. They stay that way for a while before his phone starts ringing. He takes it out and sees his parents were calling him. He tells them he’ll be there soon and hangs up.

“Hinata, thank you for listening to me. I don’t know if we’ll meet each other again, but I hope you’ll become the best player there is. You have a lot of potential.”

“Thanks. Hey, give me your number so we can spend time together again! We can talk about anything and nothing or just play some volleyball together? It could be fun!”

Tobio smiles and gives his phone to the other. They hug once more, before parting ways, both not knowing they would soon meet again, on the same side of the court.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed! this is the realisation on Tobio's side, but there will be a fic on Oikawa's point of view with him realising he is Tobio's soulmate and vice versa. If you have something you want to read in this universe feel free to comment! I have ideas of writing a date, and the meeting with both families, and multiple other one-shots, so I don't mind reading what you guys might want to read!!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> also the bit about the coach, there will be a fic about him, because lemme tell you he is the true piece of shit in the Kitagawa years. You can't tell me a good adult and mentor would've turned a blind eye to:  
> \- Oikawa never helping Kageyama during practice when that's literally what a upperclassmen should be doing, and he was the captain too!!!  
> \- Kageyama ordering around his teammates  
> \- his teammates insulting him  
> \- his teammates literally ABANDONING HIM DURING AN OFFICAL MATCH?????? HELLO????? WTF????  
> Like c'mon. the avtual person the fandom should be blaming is that asshole. please.


End file.
